samedi 4 avril 2009
Rewriting thoughts
I've been spending the past couple of days rereading my graduate thesis from last year. Surprisingly, what brought this on was work and how people other than my advisor actually want to read what I wrote (really?). As a result, I've been going through it to see whether it's coherent and I'm discovering that there are places where I can definitely go back and rework it. The problem is the lack of motivation; do I really want to take the effort to open up this beast again? I am cringing in some sections where I can see that I failed to communicate my ideas as clearly as I could have but am thankful that it doesn't appear too badly. However, I'm only partway through so maybe the worst is to come. I'm not completely proud of this particular thesis (I spent almost a month editing my undergraduate thesis whereas I spent an afternoon on this one) so I should go back and fix it but I don't picture myself having time to do so. One of my friends felt the same way after she submitted her thesis and by the time she started working, I don't know that she did go back to it. Perhaps this can serve as a warning to myself in the future; in the event that people ever do ask about my thesis and want to have a copy, make sure it's something I'm not embarrassed about. Easier said than done :)
Libellés : thesis
samedi 19 avril 2008
C'est tout
Thesis Thoughts:
"Free, free, I'm free at last! I thank God Almighty I'm free at last!" Yay, I'm finally done! It's been a wonderful feeling just knowing that I don't have that paper weighing down on me anymore. It was a funny sequence of events that led up to the completion of it though, which I'll briefly share.
I only had a few hours left to edit the whole thing yesterday morning and to write a conclusion in the afternoon, which I didn't really end up doing. This meant that I was a few pages short but as I was converting the text from single-space to double-space, the computer made it appear as if I lost a bunch of my pages. So for about ten minutes, I was in utter shock that my project was only fifty or sixty pages long. I couldn't believe that I miscalculated everything that badly and that in the end, my project was no longer than my undergrad thesis was. Finally, the computer started formatting everything correctly and it did come out to the right amount of pages.
Then, as I was printing, the paper got incredibly jammed, which it hasn't done before, and I had to restart the whole batch because pages were getting printed onto two sheets of paper. And as if that wasn't enough (I was really up against the clock by the late afternoon now), the printer ran out of ink. If it wasn't for the "emergency just-in-case ink" that I asked my parents to get for me last week, I would have been toast.
On top of everything, we had a massive snowstorm and my dad was gracious enough to drive me to the school so that I could hand in my thesis and all of my library books. By the time I finally put all the pages together and counted them twice, it was rush hour time and I was certain that the roads would be horrid. It's a good thing I didn't take transit because I never would have made it in time. Well, by the grace of God, I somehow got my thesis in before the office closed - I just about fell over after all the frenetic activity of yesterday afternoon!
I've never really left anything to the last minute like that, but of course the one time that I did and the one time that it counted most, so many things had to go wrong. I guess that's life :)
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
It's slowly sinking in that I am no longer a student. I kind of don't know what to do with myself now... what a strange thought! I don't have deadlines looming over me, research I have to check out, any of that stuff. I'm finally getting to all the joyous purging that I talked about, and tossing out every school thing I no longer need. It's like a sense of finality now. The next few days are going to be really interesting for me; I think I'll be walking around in a daze trying to soak all of this in!
Libellés : thesis
jeudi 17 avril 2008
So near and yet so far away
Thesis Thoughts:
I had my very last class in seminary today so I didn't get much work done on my thesis. My plan was to finish half a chapter this evening but I'm still plugging away at the section I was working on yesterday. Tomorrow is technically my last day on my paper! Obviously, my original plan of finishing everything by today so that I could edit it all tomorrow won't work out. But with the time crunch, I'm really hoping that it'll somehow (miraculously) come together quickly - I've been dragging this paper on for quite a while. This might be far too optimistic a post for where I'm at though :)
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
I started purging some of the paperwork that I've accumulated from my time in seminary today only to force myself to stop; it'll be a much sweeter feeling to do that once I'm done writing. I'm excited that in a few days, I'll be able to clean out my desk and room and to face life as a non-student. I have countless binders full of every notebook, handout and assignment I've written or received since junior high - how sad is that?! Along with these school binders, I have boxes and boxes of paper/brochures/articles/etc. from when I worked at church and did youth ministry and tech ministry. It'll just be nice to recycle a lot of the things I'll never use again and to free my life of all this paper clutter. For now, I need to keep writing before I can do any of that!
Libellés : thesis
mercredi 16 avril 2008
Words and more words
Thesis Thoughts:
I wonder if these updates are as agonizing for people to read as they are for me to write, especially since I'm still in the in-between period where I'm past the stage of starting but am clearly not at the end. I can almost feel the frustration ooze out of these words as I type them. The funny thing is that I've practically lost track of what I've already written so I don't know if I'm saying anything that's different from day to day. It certainly doesn't feel like a lot happens each time I update on here :) Today, for instance, is a wonderful example of that. I had such high hopes of finishing up chapter 1 and half of chapter 2 so that I could finish the rest of chapter 2 and the conclusion tomorrow night but at this moment, I am having a hard time getting to the end of chapter 1. It's turned into a monstrous length and now I'm wondering if I should cut down on chapter 2 so I don't have to write as much. I'm about 3/4 of the way done with my page length so far but only 5/8 through with the content I want to include. Oh boy.
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
I want to be done this paper so badly. I've started placing all of the books I don't need any longer on my dresser and it's a glorious image. Wait, I'm still talking about my thesis down here. And the next thing I want to say is related to it as well (I just wanted to write that there's only so many ways I can begin my sentences and that I've exhausted all of them). Well, in terms of non-school thinking, I am excited about graduation week! It'll be nice to see my friends again and to celebrate with them at the convocation ceremonies and the banquets. I'm mostly just looking forward to leaving my desk and not having to be confined to all of the books and articles surrounding me!
Libellés : thesis
lundi 14 avril 2008
Indecision
Thesis Thoughts:
I'm halfway done! Pre-editing, of course. I still have about 13 sections to write up (some long, some short) but I've finished 14, so I'm happy that the torture is half over now :) It's unfortunate that I only have a day and a half left to write, but I'm really hoping my brain will just kick into gear somehow and churn out as many words as it can. I keep asking myself why I get into these self-created dilemmas but seeing as how this is the very last assignment I have for school, I'd rather get this done and not analyze why it took me forever to get to this point.
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
Something that I've been noticing a lot these past few weeks is that I'm a bad decision-maker; I always wait until the last minute before deciding if I'll do something or not. Not only is it frustrating for myself but I'm sure it is for others as well. I suppose it's because I like keeping my word so I want to wait until the last possible minute to decide whether I should commit to something. It can be paralyzing at times, which is a bit ridiculous when it's over minor things that probably don't matter too much in the end. The weirdest part of all this is that the Parable of the Two Sons always comes to my mind whenever I face any decision and I don't know why; it's not as if everything is a matter of grave importance. I thought I was getting better with this but maybe since I'm super busy with school right now, I'm allowing myself to become ambivalent about social activities and other little things and it's actually a form of putting off decision-making. Hmm, I'll have to think about this some more after I'm done writing (as in putting off yet another thing? Why, yes).
Libellés : thesis
dimanche 13 avril 2008
Sleepy eyes
Thesis Thoughts:
Ouch, I need to eat my words. I thought I was a fairly fast writer having churned out paper after paper this semester (well, for the last six years, really) but I'm just as slow as molasses. One of my friends was working on something that took him hours and I shared my surprise at that; now, I'm at about the same rate. I'm almost finished a chapter - two more pages to go! - but I've spent the entire day on it. The worst news is that the majority of it was already written but I had to tweak nearly all of it to fit my new topic better. So really, I can't gauge how fast I can write. This might be dangerous for the remaining two chapters and the conclusion I have left. I honestly don't know how I'm going to get all that done....
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
I've been listening to a mixture of opera, cabaret songs, and choral music today, meaning I've had quite the fill of English, French, German, and Latin. The music has been quite slow though, perhaps that has affected the speed at which I've been writing? I did get a lot more done when I was listening to an old 90s pop album. Ah-ha, that could be the trick! Anyways, I have church and a wedding shower tomorrow so I won't have any time to work on my paper until the evening. If I'm not feeling too tired, I'll think about staying up late to finally finish a chapter and move on to the other ones - too bad all-nighters are out of the question for me! It's going to be a lovely 22 degrees though, hooray for skirt weather :)
Libellés : thesis
vendredi 11 avril 2008
Shorter days
Thesis Thoughts:
Well, chapter one is still a figment of my imagination. I got so frustrated with it that I moved onto part of chapter two and will be looking at another part of chapter three today. I recalculated my schedule and I only have two and a half days to finish this project. It feels like it's never-ending (and yet the end is coming too quickly)!
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
Should I even be having any? I fell asleep last night thinking of additional ways I could improve some of my paragraphs. My brain hurts.
Libellés : thesis
jeudi 10 avril 2008
Skipping along
Thesis Thoughts:
I was so tired yesterday after class that I really wanted to take a nap, so I did everything I could to force myself to at least finish the introduction, which I finally did. Phew, but now I have the remainder of the paper to go. I'm attempting to start chapter one today (something that I probably mentioned a few days ago but didn't get around to). Correction, I'm attempting to finish the first chapter today :) Good thing I have lots of fun music to listen to while I dredge up some history and statistical analysis for the next eight-ten hours!
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
1. We have Montreal-like weather today; I don't think I've seen this much snow since last year. It feels like I'm back in Quebec.
2. On top of the thesis I'm writing, I have to plan a wedding shower for this weekend. Ordinarily, this would be fine but trying to meet with everyone and getting things done is taking a toll on me and my paper.
3. I only have one more class left and then I am finished sitting in school (ironically, I think we'll be talking about funerals next week)!
4. I only have three days left of writing before I have to edit my paper and hand it in before my prof flies off to a different continent. 3 days = Chapters 1-3 + Conclusion. Sigh.
5. It's supposed to be 20 degrees this weekend?! That'd be great for the shower but it means we'd have to have a really mighty chinook come in over the next few days. At least I don't have to go outside today!
Libellés : thesis
mardi 8 avril 2008
Pounding headaches
Thesis Thoughts:
I'm so happy that one of my friends has finished her thesis! There are three other people I know of who are still working on theirs, and two people whom I haven't talked to lately who may or may not be close to being done. At least we can all commiserate together! I ended up going to Bible study so I didn't get any further work done yesterday; I'll have to finish my introduction and get going on chapter one today. I have a lot of material for chapters two-three because of my prior work but I'm not anyway closer to where I thought I'd be. It was a good thing that I went last night though; I think being cooped up was making me extra grumpy and I needed to actually get out and talk to people :)
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
For some reason, I absolutely need 8 hours of sleep every night now. If I get less - even if I'm only one hour short - I end up with a dull and pounding headache. I'm not sure why this is happening to me; I used to be able to function on 3-5 hours of sleep each night in high school (it was a combination of crazy transit and excess homework from an overachieving school). And despite the fact that I pulled many all-nighters in college, I don't think I can even try that anymore. Am I just getting old?! I suppose it's a good thing my social calendar has been reduced to almost nothing so that I don't have to worry about not getting enough sleep, although it would be nice to get up earlier in the mornings. Oh, am I going to enjoy sweet freedom in about two weeks!
Libellés : thesis
lundi 7 avril 2008
A certain measure of routine
Thesis Thoughts:
I'm not quite on a roll but I do have much more momentum than I've had in past weeks. It's also comforting to know that I have a wealth of information I can draw from, even if it is daunting to look at it all. At this point, I'm saying no to further research unless it is something I must look up online to substantiate a claim I'm making; other than that, I am refraining from searching for any more articles and websites. I have bits and pieces here and there for the majority of my chapters so I'm just finishing up the introduction right now before I delve into the other topics again.
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
The Complete Jane Austen ended on PBS last night. It's been nice to have these movies as a part of my semester; now that it has wrapped up, it feels a little bit like losing a friend on Sunday nights. I think one of my goals for this summer will be to reread/read all of Austen's novels, in addition to rereading the Chronicles of Narnia. I'm thinking of bringing along a few books with me on my summer travels - something I haven't been able to do before outside of textbooks - so it may be my opportunity to finally get into some Elizabeth Gaskell. Needless to say, I am very anxious to read fun, non-school books again!
Libellés : thesis
dimanche 6 avril 2008
Let's see how far this goes
Thesis Thoughts:
Ugh, I'm not as far along as I'd hoped for for today. I did have two fun revelations this weekend though; the first being that I have already some material I can use and the second being that the Government of Canada has published a lovely analysis series that interprets their census statistics, meaning I don't have to do this myself. Now if only I could just get to some actual writing! I went through most of the government's documents that pertain to my paper topic last night only to get distracted by the final Flames game against the Canucks. It's one of the few times that I've been able to enjoy some hockey all semester, which is silly since this is the busiest time ever right now.
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
Church was absolutely wonderful this morning; it is always such a joy to hear a solid message straight from the Bible. I love that our pastor does expository preaching and even though we're in the middle of a topical series right now, it is still just as amazing since it's completely grounded in Scripture. It was such a blessing to hear Handel's "Hallelujah" chorus by our choir and orchestra as well (and to stand up for it). I greatly appreciate how much goes into the worship and the teaching each week as it fills me up anew and definitely sets my week aright. As for the rest of this Sabbath day, I'm going to rest a little bit and maybe finish reading some articles for my paper. I hope to get back at it first thing tomorrow and to have a more productive week (as in having pages written). There is the temptation for me to miss Bible study so that I can get more work done but I haven't fully decided if I will skip it or not. Missing church is something I would not allow myself to do under any circumstances but apparently, I don't feel quite that strongly about Bible study. I guess I'll see how much I write tomorrow and if I'm "in the zone", then I won't go, although we will be studying one of my favourite epistles....
Libellés : thesis
samedi 5 avril 2008
Saturday musings
Thesis Thoughts:
I've been stressing over this thesis for the past week, but it just hit me last night that my adviser has given me prior permission to use last semester's term project for this paper. This means I already have material that I am allowed to use again, which was part of the original agreement I made, something that has apparently slipped my mind until now. Wow, do I ever forget important things!
While I'm fixing up some of those pages, I'm also doing a bit of research on Statistics Canada and Theses Canada. In looking up information through the Government of Canada, I came across this handy list of religions in Canada, which is really fascinating. Part of what I'm writing about is that the Canadian census uses outdated religious categories to classify people (going back to 100 years ago) and that this is not truly reflective of current society. For instance, there is no way to accurately measure Christians of an evangelical persuasion (whether by theology or church denomination), making census analysis somewhat difficult. I haven't quite found a thesis that discusses this yet but there are some interesting topics that people have written on!
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
Some of my travel plans are confirmed, hooray! It's not all fully booked yet but I figure I'll have more time for that after my thesis. Yes, that's what I have to keep telling myself. And, well I guess this is thesis-related but I have finally discovered the difference in the placement of the date of publication within bibliographic entries! If you put the year following the author's name, it's because you're using the reference list style, which is used with parenthetical references. But since I always use the footnote system, the year must follow the publishing company. I have actually cited my sources incorrectly for four years of college - what a great thing to figure out at the end of grad school, eh?
Libellés : thesis
vendredi 4 avril 2008
Almost daily log
I think for the remainder of the two weeks that I have left to write my thesis that I will refrain from using Facebook. It's become very time-consuming trying to keep up with the wall posts and I've been declining so many event invitations over the past month that I don't think I'll be missing anything if I ignore it for a while. I'll probably use my blog to post a few thoughts about how my research project is going but that'll be it for now.
Thesis Thoughts:
As of today, I have come to the conclusion that I am over-expending my efforts on things that aren't that helpful for my paper. I spent a couple of days last week going through five books and trying to find useful information from them, leaving me with 18 pages of notes. I don't think I'll even use all of these notes, plus I have another 60 books to go through. I guess I'll have to scrap my idea of going through each text carefully; it's not the best use of my time! Also, I've compiled a bibliography that is 19 pages and counting but again, that means I have to go through them all! It's unfortunate that I can hunt down that many sources yet not do anything with them. I think the best thing for me to do at this point is just to start writing and to worry about the sources later.
Non-Thesis Thoughts:
I took a break from my thesis last night and watched Holmes on Homes with my parents. I don't often watch TV anymore with the exception of Masterpiece (yay for Jane Austen!) and the news, but it was fun to catch something on HGTV. Ever since they stopped airing my favourite shows (Mission: Organization, Neat, and Small Space, Big Style), I haven't tuned in as much but last night's episode of HoH was reminiscent of these organization shows. It was horrifying to see how much junk this couple had accumulated and my mom became so disgusted at it that I convinced her to go through the house from top to bottom with me this summer, throwing out/donating everything we don't need. I have seriously been waiting all year to do this - I guess if I can finish my paper early, my reward will be to start cleaning earlier :)
mercredi 2 avril 2008
At a standstill
I feel like I have nothing to write at this point, which is not particularly helpful for my research project. I was telling one of my friends who is studying in a different province this semester that I am completely numb. I've spent the past year thinking about my topic and discussing it with people, but it hasn't resulted in anything. She mentioned that she was going through the same thing and that she couldn't get the thoughts in her head out onto paper either. I'm wondering if this is a ghastly symptom for the end of the semester in that our brains just cannot connect with our fingers due to stress. I'm finding lots of helpful material in the research I've accumulated over the year but I can't seem to put anything together. So technically, I am still on page 0 of my thesis.
It's a miserable feeling really. I know where I want to go with my arguments but I'm having the most difficult time even starting. If this is what writer's block feels like, I'll be content to not have to write anything for the next year. I was looking at what I wrote in the last post, and while I do want this to be an edifying project, I'm not too motivated to aspire for that anymore. I guess all this to say that my thesis is making me incredibly grumpy. I wish I had another semester to work on this but since I only have less than two weeks, I should do something so that I can get over this frustrating mood. I'm sad that this makes me not such a pleasant person to be around; perhaps that's good for being a hermit in the next few weeks?
(This less-than-exciting post is brought to you by procrastination, panic, lack of creativity, and an unhealthy dose of desperation).
Libellés : thesis
mardi 25 mars 2008
Minor milestone
At this very moment, I feel a bit more lighthearted :) I have just finished two courses, which is the remainder of the coursework for my degree! Yes, I still have the massively overwhelming thesis over my head but I am free from everything else now - hooray! I'm afraid I've been using this blog as nothing more than a way to keep track of everything I've had to do all semester, but it has been nice to chart my slow progress. It's come later than expected but regardless, I'm thrilled that my attention is no longer divided between four other classes and that I can concentrate solely on my thesis topic!
There's a verse on my wall that I posted when I began seminary. It's from Matthew 25:21 and it says,
His master replied, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"I knew when I started school again that I would need a constant reminder to be a diligent worker with my assignments on a daily basis. I have such a long way to go but I'm grateful that I've been able to change my perspective on tasks that I once thought to be only tedious. However, as I look back now, I'm able to see the ways in which those little things have built up. I'm hoping that I can keep this perspective as I tackle my one last thing now; I want to be faithful with what God has entrusted me with, which includes completing my project well. I want my words to be edifying and to serve a purpose as I put them together. It'll be a daunting few weeks but I am praying that I won't see this thesis as merely a hurdle to cross to get to graduation but that it will be something that points to His glory. If it can be a paper that I am actually delighted with (as opposed to resigned with), then I have to believe that it will have all been worth it!
Libellés : procrastination, thesis
mercredi 19 mars 2008
Typing frenzy
I can hardly believe it but my distance ed course is finally finished (58 pages later)! Well, sort of. In an effort to make these classes a bit more interactive, the school has forced all students to dialogue with each other via an internet forum. I've done this before for one of the classes that I took with actual people but I didn't make the most of it since I posted all of my entries in the last week of the semester. So much for interaction - it was more like a torturous version of "write something not completely terrible and find the easiest post to respond to," which I suspect I will be doing once again. I'll leave that for tomorrow, along with my very last assignment for the semester apart from my thesis!
So onto thesis (non) news: One of my friends has to write a 40 page thesis in 7 days. I have to write a 100 page thesis in 25 days. Needless to say, things are looking quite worrisome for the both of us now. I'm supposed to present something to my adviser next week so I'll see how I manage before then. I doubt I'll get a whole chapter done but I'd hate to disappoint my adviser once again, considering I haven't had anything to show him all semester yet. The pickles that I get myself into, sigh. I'm just relieved that after Thursday, I'll be two classes closer to graduation. People have been really sweet to me and getting excited about my finishing school but inside, I'm terrified that I won't be able to make it. My friend has a major concert coming up that's going to consume a lot of her time, so I'm praying that she can make her deadline. I'm begging God that I can do the same. Thus, the next few days are going to be a whirlwind of flying through books and typing whatever I can, and wouldn't you know it but my poor fingers are already trembling :)
Libellés : thesis
mardi 15 janvier 2008
Life or something like it
As I mentioned in an email to a friend today, I am ridiculously overloaded this semester and the blame is entirely on me. I was just peering at the list I made on New Year's Day and boy, does it look impossible! The happy news is that I've turned down plans to attend some missions events (the logistics would have never worked out) but the sad news is that I can't take part in Thesis Club due to my crazy schedule. I'm settling into my semester so far and am attempting to get all of the weekly course requirements out of the way this month so that I can focus on my thesis later on. I'm really going to have to buckle down and get as disciplined as I can!
I wish I had more exciting news to share on here but as usual, school is taking over any semblance I have of a life :) I am thrilled that graduation is coming closer (albeit the excitement is mixed with a sense of dread that my foolishness may get me into trouble) and that I can tell people that it's my last semester of school. I have a feeling that most people think I've been in school for too long, but I'm assuming they think I'm still finishing up my undergrad. In any case, I am anticipating the days when I can live life rather than only thinking about it - well, I suppose I am living life now but it's quite restricted to books and papers!
One thing I have really appreciated about my last year of seminary has been the Bible study group that one of my friends started after countless pleas to try and get together. I'm sure glad that God laid it on his heart - bless his patience! - since it's been a wonderful thing for all of us who are in the group. Right now, the majority of us are struggling with school and family concerns, so after a very much needed time of prayer together recently, I'm hoping that we are all feeling refreshed and renewed to press on. Since I'm writing my thesis on the topic of the church, I've definitely treasured the Christian community that I've had these past few months. God has answered my prayers for a small group to belong to in a grand way! Now I just need them to help keep me accountable with all this school stuff and that would be splendid :)
"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching." - Hebrews 10:25
jeudi 24 mai 2007
I'll be working on my thesis
...all the live long day.
I had an amazing lunch a few days ago with one of my good friends and we decided to form a thesis club when the school year starts! Cheesy name but maybe we'll come up with something a bit catchier later. Thesis-writing can be a lonely experience, not to mention extremely undisciplined so I'm hoping that we can hold each other accountable as we tackle our papers this year :) We're hoping to read either Writing Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes a Day or Complete Your Dissertation or Thesis in Two Semesters or Less to get some tips and strategies. Note the emphasis on efficiency rather than on effectiveness of argument - we're both afraid of what will happen if we miss our deadlines.
Also, my classes are finally sorted out! I don't have to take any courses from other institutions (pending one that will be offered on my school's campus from a different seminary) or go through distance ed. The majority of my work during the first semester will be off-campus with a return to the classroom during the second. What a blessing that I don't have to stress about this anymore! It took a long, long meeting with the dean to work through my program requirements but now I'm one step closer to graduating, yes! If I can just survive my spring course and my summer internship, then all will be well (until the next adventuresome year, that is).
dimanche 23 juillet 2006
In isolation
I have been largely unavailable to the world for the last few weeks - which is good and bad. But thanks to Mara for her comment (so, what are you doing now? what's the paper for? what's the big plan for your life? etc.), I'll be more than happy to reply while I have this bit of time.
My here and now is Calgary. I haven't had a chance to write a prayer letter in a while so it's funny when I run into people at church or elsewhere and they go, "Oh! You're back. I thought you were still in Quebec!" I even had a friend email me and say they were heading out east and that they'd love to meet me over there. Whoops, I suppose my communication skills have been faltering since I've gotten back.
The city is great; it's nice to be home. Except that my every hour is consumed with none other than homework. The big paper that I had to write was my ethnography and I find it funny that I'm in the only major at my college where it is required that two large papers are written. At first, I thought my thesis was the longest paper I had ever written in my life but this one surpassed it by another 25 pages. I shouldn't complain though - writing both of those papers have taught me tons and it's been awesome to integrate what I've learned from many of my classes.
And yet, I still have a huge cloud looming over me. I have a distance ed course that I need to finish within a few weeks. Because of complications with my degree program and my school's scheduling of classes, I was required to take this one course from another institution. Well, let's just say I could never do an entire program via DE. One course has been a nightmare enough for me - I've travelled back and forth so many times this year that I haven't given it the attention it deserves.
I'm going to be spending every waking hour (again) slaving over my assignments for this class so I can finally get my degree, otherwise I won't receive advanced standing at graduate school. That is my primary concern right now, because I don't want to lose an entire semester (and the finances for it) taking introductory courses. So, it's been stressful but I trust that God will help me to accomplish what needs to get done.
The bad part about this homework seclusion has been that I've not kept in contact with anyone. I was supposed to meet several people when I came back but I'm putting all that off until late August. I didn't think anything was wrong with this but today at church, the sermon was about how Jesus viewed people. Our pastor referred to the gospel narratives where Jesus and His disciples would be travelling somewhere and along the way, people would ask for healing and salvation. These people could have been seen as distractions and interruptions but Jesus stopped to make the time for them and to truly care for these people.
Well this past month, that has been how I've viewed people in general. Distractions that I didn't need, meetings that got in the way of my homework. How selfish of me! This homework problem was my fault in the first place; other people had nothing to do with it. I had no idea I was becoming so task-oriented and not in a healthy way. But I'm thankful that I've seen how much of a sin that has been; now I need to ask forgiveness from a lot of the people I've not responded to! I'm going to push on in my course work but I'll do my best to be a lot more open to God's timing rather than fiercely holding onto my own.
And for the big life plan? I have absolutely no idea. After seminary, it's one huge question mark. I'm hoping this question mark somehow includes Montreal :)
mardi 18 juillet 2006
Take a stand
Over the past week, I have been slaving away over a paper that pretty much counts entirely for a course, along with the raw notes and data cards that are supposed to help me write the paper. I just finished the introduction yesterday (after a week!) and am finally getting into the thesis. I'm excited to finish this assignment and to send it off so that I can get back to completing my other course. I'm on a really tight schedule to finish each task but this one has been dragging on for so long now and I'm getting behind.
I guess the greatest difficulty for me is that I need to spend almost all of my waking time typing on the computer. I hate this because a) all I do is sit and b) I can't be active at the same time I'm writing. My legs hurt and I feel so sloth-like. It's definitely contributing to my out-of-shapeness. I take occasional breaks but I had no idea that sitting down at a desk every single day could take such a toll on the body. I used to think I could handle this (being an administrative assistant however requires a bit of movement which I appreciate) but I'm slowly changing my mind. Oh to be out of my chair!
