mardi 25 novembre 2003


I am so scared. I know I shouldn't be, but all I can see before me is fear. My mom seems to be getting weaker and weaker everyday. We have passed all the planning stages and she'll be starting chemotherapy and radiation next week. I don't know what to do. I need her here, with my family. And most importantly, I need for her to find Jesus and finally have that peace she has been searching for her whole life. I'm terrified because I'm not in control, and neither is my mom. The only One I can find faith in is God, who has everything under His control. Each day, reality sinks in deeper and deeper. My faith is unshakeable, but right now, I find it difficult to turn to it. There is only so much I can do and the majority of that is in prayer. I need to cling to God even more now. Yet my natural instinct is to cry against Him and run from His presence. Lord, help me and my family.

When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him. "What are you arguing with them about?" he asked. A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not." "O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?" "From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." " 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
- Mark 9:14-24

[Listening to: Hate The World Today - Starfield - Tumbling After (03:46)]

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