mercredi 3 septembre 2008

My own hands

One of the struggles I've recently had has been the whole job situation. I absolutely love my part-time job and only wish it could be a full-time job (which is not possible at the moment due to funding), meaning that I still have yet to find another part-time job. However, I'd much rather have a full-time job so that I can have things like benefits - a necessity now that I am no longer a student. Some of the full-time jobs I've come across sound great and I would qualify for them but they start immediately and I am in a part-time contract for several more months. I also don't want to give up what I'm doing part-time. Thus, the dilemma.

I've been thinking a bit about Genesis 16 in terms of where I'm at. There, Abram is waiting on God for an heir, for his offspring. In the midst of a seemingly impossible situation, Abram's wife Sarai rationalizes that the best solution would be for Abram to have a child with her maidservant, Hagar. It makes sense but the implications are grave. Abram takes things into his own hands rather than trusting in God to accomplish things His way. Although Ishmael's descendants are blessed and fruitful (Genesis 17:20), it is only Isaac that God establishes His covenant with (Genesis 17:19). In fact, in Genesis 22:12 where God calls Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, it is clear that God sees Isaac as Abraham's only son. Abraham's way of getting an heir was not acknowledged by God and it took Abraham another thirteen years before he saw that 'nothing was too hard for the Lord' to do (Genesis 18:14).

The reason this story has popped into my mind is that the things we often try to do on our own strength aren't the things that last or will work out in the end. I've been pretty anxious lately about my job and in many ways, I can see situations where I go ahead with my own agenda instead of waiting on God for His perfect plan. Today, I heard of another opportunity that sounded good but which may not have necessarily been the best thing. However, I didn't think too clearly of it at the time and in my haste, mentioned that I would be interested in it. I'm praying that the repercussions of this move will be minimal since I may have taken things into my own hands again. I'm grateful that God has kept me from a lot of bad decisions (although not all, I still remain a foolish person in countless ways); I just have to keep relying on Him so that I don't continue this mindset that I need to go about and fix things my way. Now that is a recipe for disaster! Good thing He is patient with us... I certainly need it!

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